Girl Time

Wednesday April 27th

We got home very late last night from Amsterdam and as such are taking a day of rest today, particularly since my mom arrives tomorrow!  We ran a few errands this morning, the grocery store and whatnot, did our exercises and are just resting today.  Katie watched a movie and I am catching up on my writing.

Since not much is really going on, I thought I would write today about how Katie and I are getting along.  The idea of spending two and half months with my daughter as my primary companion was very exciting to me. Katie and I have a very close relationship and I enjoy spending time with her.  I don’t know if this is a function of her being an only child, or if we would still be as close if she had siblings.  We do spend a lot of time together normally, not just on this trip, and overall really enjoy each other’s company. Would this trip prove to be too much though? Would we get on each other’s nerves and get tired of each other?  Luckily, this has not proven to be the case.

 Without the pressures of normal daily life, we have more time to talk to each other.  We tell stories and share our likes and dislikes. We talk about our values, and the challenges we face in life. We are reading some of the same books, and talk about the broad themes as well as the details.  We are playing games and watching TV together snuggled on the couch.

In fact, so far, over a month into the trip, we have not gotten on each other’s nerves and we are still enjoying being together.  So far, we’ve each had one bad day: I made her cry once, and she made me cry once.  Not really too bad for all this time together.  I made her cry by pushing too hard on a math lesson (not my finest moment), and she made me cry by pushing me too hard when I lost an expensive museum pass in Stockholm. But overall, in fact, as I hoped, we seem to be growing even closer together, which is really nice.  We are both respectful of each other and are genuinely  enjoying ourselves.

One thing that I didn’t expect was for Katie to become more physically affectionate with me.  Several times a day we will be walking down the street and I feel her slip her hand into mine.  We’ll walk for a while hand in hand just enjoying being together. Or she’ll collapse against me as we wait for a metro car. The other day at a busy metro stop she leaned into me and asked “Do you want a big hug?” then gave me a bear hug.  Or she’ll pipe up as we walk along, “Do you know what Mommy?......I love you!”.   It’s making me feel so wonderful inside and out. 

The other day we were walking along talking about middle school and the girls who have started wearing makeup.  I laughed as I explained that I have a sub-minimalist style to makeup and fashion. Katie turned to me and said, “But, you know what Mommy, you are so much prettier than all the ladies who wear so much makeup. I think you look absolutely beautiful just as you are.” Then she hugged me.  Talk about melting your heart!

I am also learning to learn so much about Katie’s interests and hopes, much of which hinge upon animals.  How many animals and what kinds she hopes to have, and what kind of job she can get that lets her work with animals.  A pre-requisite for any future boyfriend of hers is going to be no animal allergies! She hopes to be an animal rescue vet of some kind, and since she has focused on this goal since she was five, I think she will do it. Many of our conversations focus on how many dogs, cats, rabbits, ducks, chickens, ferrets and other small furry animals she hopes to have, and what breeds.

 Her knowledge of Greek and Roman mythology far surpasses my own, and she was able to provide a lot of background for me on the statues that we saw at the Louvre.  From stories about Diana and Artemis, the Greek and Roman equivalents of the goddess of the hunt, to stories on Romulus and Remus the founders of Rome, her knowledge was extensive.

I also respect her dedication to keeping up with her school work, her blogging, and her stretching/karate exercises all of which she has kept up daily without any complaint at all.  The commitment and dedication that she shows to her work will serve her well in life.  But I am saddened a bit by her lack of confidence in some of her own abilities, particularly in her math skills.  I find her downplaying her accomplishments and focusing on the maybe one thing she didn’t understand, claiming “I’m not good at math.”  This is a girl who has won math awards, and yet she can’t trust her abilities. Why does this happen to girls in middle school despite all kinds of positive reinforcement?

But overall I find myself being awed by this talented young woman and wondering why I am so lucky to have her in my life. I learn more from her that she learns from me.  I am so impressed with the aplomb with which she has handled being uprooted and thrown into a new situation, her ease at adapting into a new culture, the speed at which she is acquiring new language skills, and the grace and respect that she conducts herself with.  Katie, I love you.